You know, you shouldn't be too upset at us for enjoying poop conversation. It is a fun way to pass the time. Poop is real, and if you are embarrassed of your poop, then you need to just shush your face. Long after your poop hating self dies, the essence of poop will live on. POOPOO WILL PREVAIL!
My favourite is when it is liquid poop. Not the diarrhea kind, but I mean when you are peeing out of your butthole. It just feels so great. Smooth and creamy but not too chunky. And it is not too messy, but I still have plenty of work to do to clean it up.