a guy walks into a bar and sits down for a drink. he sees another guy at the end of the bar slamming shot after shot, drink after drink. about an hour later the fellow is still going at it, so the first guy sits down next to him and asks "is there something you wanna talk about man...your really going for it?" the guy replies drunkly "its the same shit every time.... i get paid, i come here, i blow my whole wad at this bar, i puke all over myself, they throw me out, i stumble home and my wife is waiting for me on the front porch." she says "you miserable fucking drunk, you did it again!" "then i spend the next two weeks on the couch" "wow" says the first guy, "thats terrible" "maybe i can help you" " take a $20 out of your wad and put it in your breast pocket, then when your wife says that you puked on your shirt, you can tell her that someone actually just spilled a drink on you and gave you the $20 to get your dry cleaning done" "thats a great idea!" says the drunk, and he does so. he goes about his routine as usual. gets hammered, pukes on himself, gets thrown out of the bar and stumbles home. sure enough his wife is waiting for him. "you miserable fucking drunk, you did it again!" she says. "no, no honey . not this time. this time somebody spilled a drink on my and gave me $20 to get my shirt cleaned. its in my pocket." "I dont believe you" she says and she snatches the money out of his pocket. "wait, theres $40 here?" she says he replies " oh yeah, someone else shit my pants...."