I decided it was time to celebrate National Bird Day. I went down to the pet store and bought me a Parakeet. I named him Tweety. Tweety was so yellow and cute. I just had to cuddle him. He left the tastiest of white juice leek down my arm which I happily licked up. Then I decided to give him a snack. Now, I didn't have any bird food. So, I decided to feed him corn. I squated over to allow the bird to peck inside my gaping poo hole. He wouldn't do it, so I just shoved his head and body up there. He squirmed around pecking for a while. It tickled. Then I felt the gassiest bubble and pain build up. I couldn't help it, I had to fart! I let out a huge *bleep* fart and poor Tweety torpedos accross the room, going splat against the wall. Poor thing, didn't even live an hour.