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BY MYLES ON NOV 5 2011 @ 12:30 AM
YO MOMMA X ALOT
Yo mama so stupid she put paper on the television and called it paper view
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a mattress store and sleep on the floor Yo mama so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid! Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco! Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon Yo mama head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow Yo mama so poor when I went to rob her house i went in the front door and tripped out the back Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention! Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers! Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut. Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. Yo mama so poor she has the ducks throw bread at her! Yo mama so poor she uses curtains as blankets Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth! Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock. Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture! Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan. Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent! Yo mama so dark she spits chocolate milk! Yo mama is so black when she went outside the street lights turned on! Yo mama so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal. Yo mama so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers. Yo mama so short she poses for trophies! Yo mama so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence! Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime. Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb. Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed. Yo mama so short she models for trophys. Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down. Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach. Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left. Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater. Yo mama so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh. Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection. Yo mama so ugly she looks like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Yo mama so ugly that not even goldfish crackers smile back Yo mama so ugly Bob the Builder looked at her and said "I CAN'T FIX THAT!" Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. Yo mama so old, When she farted dust came out! Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died. Yo mama so old her social security number is 1! Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo mama so dirty she makes mud look clean. Yo mama so dirty that she was banned from a sewage facility because of sanitation worries! Yo mama so dirty that you can't tell where the dirt stops and she begins. Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts. Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar. Yo mama house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies! Yo mama house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside. Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles! Yo mama teeth are so yellow she spits butter! Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future. Yo mama house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it. Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind. Yo mama nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat! Yo mama nose so big that her neck broke from the weight! Yo mama hair so short she curls it with rice. Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates! Yo mama aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back! Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. It took yo mama 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat! Yo mama hips are so big, people set their drinks on them. Yo mama hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it. Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone. Yo mama so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. Yo mama twice the man you are. Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past nine. Yo mama arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. Yo mama middle name is Rambo. Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more." Yo mama rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals. Yo mama so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday. Yo mama mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound. Yo mama gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo. Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck. I saw your mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle. I saw your mama kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said "Moving." Yo mama teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice. COMMENTS (2) | VIEW PROFILE MYLES HAS 2 PiSSed BLOGS AND 1 COMMENTS |
BY TIG_OL'_BITTIES ON DEC 10 2011 @ 10:31 AM
Yo mama so dirty when santa sees her he says HO HO HO Those yo mama jokes are so old last time a heard them yo mama was in school |
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